


spirits in my head (and they won't go)

by noodlerdoodler



Series: Fixing The Timeline (Collection of One-shots) [7]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves Friendship, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Family Issues, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Multi, Not Beta Read, Number Five | The Boy and Luther Hargreeves are Twins, Other, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27341149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noodlerdoodler/pseuds/noodlerdoodler
Summary: While she knew that Klaus had been able to summon their brother, once at the Icarus Theatre, Allison was surprised by the question. It had been made clear that Ben hadn’t made it to 1963 with them and honestly, so much time had passed since that fateful night, Allison was beginning to think that the summoning had been a fluke. Or a miracle. Or maybe she'd simply imagined the entire thing. Either way, it seemed like a one-off event.However, her siblings were talking about Ben as if he’d just popped to the store for some milk, rather than dying tragically sixteen years ago.“He’s gone,” Klaus’ voice cracked, “Benny finally took his ticket to heaven. Didn’t he?”He sat up on the bed in a flash, startling all of them, looking to Vanya for confirmation.Vanya nodded slowly, “He sacrificed himself to save me, and the world in the process.”
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves & The Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & The Hargreeves
Series: Fixing The Timeline (Collection of One-shots) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880833
Comments: 5
Kudos: 126





	spirits in my head (and they won't go)

After the fiasco at the FBI building, they decided to regroup back at the Elliott’s and figure out what the next steps were from there. A somber silence hung in the air during the car journey: Diego was too miserable to even play with his knives and Vanya rested her head on her brother’s shoulder as she recovered from the pure exhaustion that came from using her powers. Not even Klaus was very chatty, unusual for him, though nobody commented on it. They were all just grateful for a moment of peace and quiet after the showdown outside the interrogation room.

Allison had honestly thought, in that moment, that she might die. It was a fear that she’d felt before- often on missions, certainly when she’d had her throat slit- but in her barely conscious, bleeding state, the panic had been the only thing keeping her awake. She wasn’t even sure she should be driving. She was probably in a state of shock and despite her attempts to stem the flow, her nose was still bleeding. Her ears too, she suspected.

When they got to Elliott’s, their brothers were already waiting for them there. She got out of the car and ran to hug them both, relieved to see that they were both okay. Luther’s shoulders stiffened awkwardly and Five tried to wriggle away from her but eventually conceded to being wrapped in her arms. For unknown reasons, her little-older brother was very sweaty.

After a moment, Allison decided that she’d rather not know why. She was just glad that they were both here- that they were _all_ here- and that they were safe.

“What happened out there, Diego?” Luther asked, not unkindly, as they headed inside, “We saw you tackle Dad on the grassy knoll.”

Diego just shook his head, “It was a goddamn set-up. One of Dad’s cronies.”

“You know, I hate to say I told you so-” Five looked more frustrated than smug.

“You love to say I told you so,” Their brother rolled his eyes, “Because you’re just like Dad-“

There was a familiar whooshing noise as Five blinked right in front of him, jabbing an index finger against Diego’s chest as he threatened him. To say that Allison tuned it out would be accurate, though it helped that her earring was still feeling a bit fuzzy from before. It sounded a bit like everyone’s voices were passing through water, making it difficult to hear. Rather than tuning Five’s rant out, it was more like she just stopped putting effort into making out his words.

She turned her back on her arguing brothers and noticed Klaus was already climbing up the stairs, dragging his body as if it was weighed down by some great weight. It wasn’t like him to be so quiet or so downtrodden, even when he was sober. Allison frowned at his retreating figure.

“Hey,” A soft voice interrupted her thoughts, “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Vanya caught her by the arm, looking worn out and worried.

Allison couldn’t help smiling at her, “Yeah, sure, let’s sit down.”

Her sister looked pale and tired, but a lot better than when she’d stepped out of the interrogation room to face them. Still, remembering everything at once must’ve taken a toll on her and Allison could see that her sister needed somebody to lean on right now. So, they sat down on the stairs together and Allison slung one arm around her sister’s shoulders, pulling her in close. It wasn’t that she forgot about Klaus; she just decided to check in with him later on.

* * *

Time was hazy in Elliott’s apartment, tucked away from the outside world, but about an hour passed before Allison realised that her brother was still missing. Well, he wasn’t exactly _missing,_ but he’d been shut away for a long time. Worry washed over her quickly when she remembered that she had meant to check on him, only to get caught up in conversation about what the hell they were going to do next. Five, who seemed even more irritable than usual, kept spewing nonsense about ‘psychosis’ and ‘spotters’ while Luther nursed a headache.

“Should one of us check on Klaus?” Allison asked, cutting her brother off.

Five scowled at her. Much like their father, he hated being interrupted. But the rest of her brothers looked to her, expressions a mixture of concern and confusion, as if they hadn’t noticed Klaus slipping away the second they got back. The only one that kept their eyes down was Vanya, who suddenly looked very sad and let her head fall into her hands. Had something happened?

Filing away Vanya’s reaction for later, Allison pushed herself off the couch and got to her feet. She’d only been to Elliott’s once before but remembered the tour that the strange man had given them, (excited to have ‘extraterrestrial’ guests), and padded towards the bedroom. She knocked gently on the door. When she got no response, Allison began to worry her lower lip.

Footsteps alerted her to Diego’s presence, as he joined her at the door and knocked again.

No response; her brother announced, cracking the door open, “Klaus, if you’re jacking off in here, I’m giving you a chance to preserve your dignity for once.”

Allison smothered a laugh, despite herself. As if Klaus had ever been shy about flaunting his nudity- they’d had far too many awkward interactions with him in his underwear for it to affect her anymore. Part of her had always wondered if being watched by ghosts all the time had made him shameless about his body, or if he’d just been born with stupid levels of confidence.

Thankfully, Klaus wasn’t doing anything perverted or even strange. Nothing Klaus-y. He was just lying on the bed, curled up like a cat, with his back towards them. From a distance, it seemed like he was just taking a nap but when Allison moved around the bed, so she could see his face, she saw that Klaus was staring sadly at the wall. There was no sparkle in his eyes.

“Hey,” She softened her tone accordingly, “We came to check you were doing okay.”

Klaus blinked, surprised, “Oh, hey, Allison. Didn’t see you there.”

“You better not be high,” grumbled Diego, with his usual tact, as he closed the door behind him.

Unlike Allison, he seemed reluctant to look his older, (and how she was looking forward to teasing Diego about being their little brother later), in the eye. Instead, Diego just sat uncomfortably on the edge of the bed, smoothing down the blankets. 

Allison shot him a look, “He’s clean, Diego! Aren’t you?”

“Unfortunately,” Klaus mumbled into the pillow, “Three years now, brother dearest.”

Too quiet for her damaged hearing to make out, Diego muttered something grumpily to himself. But Allison refused to let him distract her from the news: their brother had been sober for three years! She was seriously impressed, although she wasn’t sure if she should tell him so. Klaus hadn’t been sober since he was a teenager, let alone for such a long period of time, and Allison had secretly thought that he’d never been able to do it. She knew about addiction from the highs and lows of her ‘rumouring’, although she knew that it wasn’t quite the same thing.

Even if he didn’t show it, she knew that Diego was equally proud. Especially since he’d been the one driving him to rehab, picking him up from police stations, and hauling him off the streets for god knows how long. He patted their brother fondly on the back, which was as affectionate as the emotionally-constipated Diego normally managed. But there was still another problem.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Allison asked, “You’ve been so quiet since we left the FBI building. It’s honestly a little bit unsettling.”

Klaus sniffed, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

Maybe that would’ve been true, two years ago. When her brother was surviving on a cocktail of drugs and half the words coming out of his mouth were complete nonsense, sure, she might’ve had some doubts- Allison had learned a lot since then. Not just about family and how important it was, but losing her voice had taught her the importance of listening to other people.

But before she could say anything, a small voice piped up:

“Is it Ben?”

Quiet as a mouse, Vanya had pushed open the door and let herself in. She was standing hesitantly in the doorway, as if she wasn’t sure whether to come in or not, but the sadness in her voice was obvious. _Of course_ , Allison thought, _she must be confused_. Her sister must have remembered Ben’s death when she’d recovered all her memories and must’ve gotten mixed up, thinking it happened recently.

But to her surprise, Diego nodded and said, “Is he here?”

While she knew that Klaus had been able to summon their brother, once at the Icarus Theatre, Allison was surprised by the question. It had been made clear that Ben hadn’t made it to 1963 with them and honestly, so much time had passed since that fateful night, Allison was beginning to think that the summoning had been a fluke. Or a miracle. Or maybe she'd simply imagined the entire thing. Either way, it seemed like a one-off event.

However, her siblings were talking about Ben as if he’d just popped to the store for some milk, rather than dying tragically sixteen years ago.

“He’s gone,” Klaus’ voice cracked, “Benny finally took his ticket to heaven. Didn’t he?”

He sat up on the bed in a flash, startling all of them, looking to Vanya for confirmation.

Vanya nodded slowly, “He sacrificed himself to save me, and the world in the process.”

That made Klaus chuckle wryly, his eyes a cloudy. And it was obvious to all of them that he was hurting. 

“I’m really going to miss that annoying little shit…” He mused, voice wobbling. 

Although she didn’t understand, Allison knew that her brother was in mourning. She thought back to when they were teenagers, how she’d never been there for any of them after she decided to pursue her dream outside of the Academy. Aside from paying his rehab bills, Allison had never really done anything to support Klaus through his addiction and had felt guilty since she’d found him in Dad’s office, looking wild-eyed and desperately searching for stuff to pawn. He'd been fresh out of rehab and looking for his next high. Her brother had grown so much since then.

Without a word, Allison threw her arms around him and squeezed him tightly. She knew that Klaus had never truly mourned their brother’s passing, showing up drunk to the funeral and relying on substances ever since. But if it was hitting him now, if he was finally processing it over a decade later, Allison knew that she was going to be there for him.

Startled, Klaus hesitated for a moment. Then, he pressed his face into her shoulder and wept.

* * *

They had been arguing over their next move- except Klaus, who had been complaining that the news network hadn’t been able to find a real picture of him and debating if he should send one in- when Vanya announced she was leaving. It took all of them by surprise. Even more surprising was when she pleaded for them to go with her, to have her back for once. But one look at her siblings’ faces told Allison that they weren’t going to risk their lives again for some kid.

Watching Vanya leaving alone had stung her deeply, making her wonder if she should’ve stood up for her sister instead. After all, Vanya barely had a grasp on her powers- what if she hurt herself or, worse, somebody else? Even if she didn’t mean to, she was more than capable of doing serious harm. Diego had repeatedly complained that his ears were still ringing from earlier.

Plus, Allison had spent the last two years thinking that her siblings were dead. She’d only just got them back and the idea of losing them again, especially her only sister… It was too upsetting to even think about.

“Look, we can’t let her go alone,” Allison said finally, “She’s our sister.”

“Our sister, who nearly caused the end of the world. Twice,” Five pointed out.

Helpfully, Klaus held up two fingers. He was leaning against the balcony and had perked up significantly over the last few hours, though he still looked a little sad. After he’d cried himself out, Klaus had confessed that it felt like losing Ben all over again, maybe even worse, and that had just about broken Allison’s heart. He’d spent a little while longer curled on the bed, holding tightly onto Vanya’s hand as if she might leave him as well, and his head resting on Allison’s lap.

She’d played with his hair, like he used to when they were little. When Klaus had felt a little better, they’d all returned downstairs and played along with the excuse that Diego had invented for them. Nobody had looked too closely at Klaus’ sore eyes or red nose.

“Isn’t that just more reason to help her?” Allison looked around at them all, trying to gage their thoughts, “We were able to help her at the FBI building-“

“Ben helped her,” Diego reminded her bitterly, “And he’s gone now.”

Idiot. As if Klaus, who closed his eyes as if he was imagining himself somewhere far away from here, needed them to bring it up again. They were all sensitive where Ben was concerned anyway- his death was an old wound in the Hargreeves family, one which had never been allowed to heal by their father so was still red and raw years later.

Allison always wondered what her brother would’ve thought of his funeral. If what Klaus said was true, maybe he’d watched them put his own casket in the ground- an eerie thought, for sure. One thing that she knew was that Ben never would’ve blamed any of them for their death. He probably would’ve been embarrassed that they were all so emotional over him, shifting awkwardly.

“Wait, wait, wait, _Ben_ was there?” Luther’s eyes were wide.

“Turns out Stoner Boy over there was lying about Ben not making it here,” Diego pointed at Klaus, as if it wasn’t obvious who he was talking about: their brother just looked tired.

There was a moment as Luther and Five processed this information, looking more similar than ever as they shared matching confused expressions. While they looked wildly different for twins, their pinched eyebrows and creased foreheads made them look identical in that brief moment. Five recovered quickly and gave a curt nod, as if to say “that makes sense”.

“Why didn’t you let us talk to him?” Luther asked, frowning.

To his credit, Diego kept his mouth firmly shut about the fact that he had spoken to Ben, (something that he’d confessed upstairs). None of them pulled him up on it, though Allison made a note to ask him about it later: she wanted to know what their brother had said.

Klaus opened his mouth and then closed it again, looking pained. For the first time in his life, he didn’t seem to have anything to say. So, Diego took the chance to jump in.

“Look, Ben sacrificed everything to save Vanya back there. He cared about us right until the end,” He paused, thinking, and nodded to Allison, “She needs us. I’m in.”

She couldn’t help smiling at him, pleased to have somebody on her side, and was surprised when Diego smiled back at her. There was something easy and friendly in his expression that she didn’t recognise, since he was usually so guarded when it came to his feelings.

“Klaus?” She glanced at her other brother.

He stretched his back, finding his voice, “I suppose I could clear my schedule.”

* * *

Not that Allison didn’t have faith in her siblings, because she certainly did, but she was surprised when they all survived the fight. All of them had made it through relatively unharmed, even if Diego had a pronounced limp and Five was looking a little worse for wear. They’d lost Lila when she’d snatched up the briefcase, which was a shame, but it wasn’t the end of the world. Ha! No, this time, they’d managed to successfully avert the apocalypse and survived to tell the tale.

There was no immediate rush to get back to the future, especially since they all had to say their goodbyes. Already, when she’d left for the FBI building, Allison had left a note for Ray in hopes of providing some closure for him. But Vanya had disappeared into the farmhouse to say farewell to her girlfriend, no doubt crying as she did so. They’d always teased Vanya for being a crybaby when they were kids but it wasn’t without reason.

As predicted, when Vanya stepped outside and closed the door quietly behind her, there was a tell-tale puffiness around her eyes. She sat down slowly on the steps and Diego didn’t protest as she leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. After a few moments, Klaus drifted past them with his hand wrapped around his dog tags, looking forlorn.

“Klaus,” Allison called gently, before he could disappear inside, “Hold on a second.”

Her brother’s hand stopped on the door handle and he turned around to look at her. The expression on his face was so tender that she just wanted to sweep him up in her arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay. But she couldn’t promise that.

Turning to where Five was perched, she waved him over (he rolled his eyes at her) and tugged Luther by the arm towards the farmhouse. Soon, they were all standing on the porch in a strange sort of bittersweet silence. There was no denial that their time in 1963 had changed them all, since it was unusual for the Hargreeves to be together this long without fighting.

Five spoke first, folding his arms, “We should probably head back.”

“Not yet,” Allison shook her head, “There’s something we need to do first.”

Several curious faces stared back at her in response as she straightened up, clearing her throat. It was true that she’d always been the best public speaker of the group- the one who’d always handled the interviews back in the Academy’s heyday- but that didn’t make it any easier to say what she wanted to say. Especially when Klaus was frowning at her like that.

“We lost a brother today. For the second time,” Allison said, her voice trembling a little, “Ben was… God, Ben was too good for the Academy. He always made me want to do better, be better, and I miss him every single day when I can’t talk to him. And…” Her eyes flickered to Klaus, “If he was here today, he would’ve been so proud of you.”

Klaus’ voice was barely a whisper, “But I didn’t do anything to help. Diego was right, I’m just a big pussy-“

On the steps, Diego lifted his head and twisted around to face him, “No, you’re our brother.”

In wonderment, Klaus stared at them all as if he was seeing them for the first time. He seemed genuinely surprised that they cared about him, even as Luther smiled fondly at him and Five shrugged with false nonchalance. It hurt to think that Klaus thought so lowly of himself, underneath all the false bravado and ludicrous rambling, and Allison vowed silently to pay more attention to her favourite big brother. He deserved better from all of them.

“He cared so much about you. He told me as much,” Vanya said quietly, “We all do.”


End file.
